Illuminati plot? Hollywood publicity stunt? All the ‘killer clown’ craze theories rated

by Tom Ough | Telegraph.co.uk  |  published on October 14, 2016

ClownSo this is how it ends. Not with a bang, but with hordes of clowns running through the streets, frozen red-lipped grins on their white, dead-eyed faces, chainsaws revving, children screaming.

To paraphrase George Orwell, if you want a picture of the future, imagine a clown shoe stamping on the human face – forever.

How did it come to this? How has the “killer clown craze” (with the caveat that nobody has actually been killed – YET) so swiftly overwhelmed Western civilisation? One by one, our mightiest citadels have been stormed, from Walsall to Plymouth, from Sudbury to Loughborough. A nation – a world – is afeared.

The Internet, thank God, is on the case. In the spirit of investigation – for the sake of the far-future aliens who, millennia from now, will touch down on our cold, dead planet, and survey the rubble, the dust, the rusted, burnt-out husks of clown cars, and wonder what happened – we have studied the best research into the Case of the (Not Yet) Killer Clowns.

Which is the most compelling account of what we will refer to as the clownspiracy? Come, take my hand, and let us find out.

  • Walter Flatt

    SOME ONE IS GOING TO GET KILLED PULLING THIS STUNT.

    FROM A KOREAN WAR VET 51/53, A REG. DEM. ALL MY LIFE, BUT WILL VOTE FOR TRUMP.

    I BELIEVE WE HAVE BEEN SET UP FOR A TRY AT A MUSLIM INVASION OF THIS COUNTRY BY, HILLIARY, OBAMA, KERRY, SORROS AND THE BIASED MEDIA. READ ALL THE WHYS BELOW.

    IF YOU HAVE THE GUT5, GOOGLE THE BELOW AND LISTEN TO ALL AND READ ALL THE BELOW YOU MIGHT WAKE UP.

    GOOGLE 3 THINGS, THE NEW CLINTON CHRONICLES 2015, 2ND, HILLARY CAREER CHRIMINAL, 3RD, CLINTONS CIRCLE OF POWER. LISTEN TO ALL.

    IF YOU ARE FOR THE ABOVE AND BELOW, YOU ARE TRYING TO DESTROY MY COUNTRY

    WHICH HAD YOU RATHER HAVE FOR A PRESIDENT A MAN, (AS 99% HAS), THAT TALKS A LITTLE DIRTY TO MEN, OR THE ABOVE IN THE GOOGLE.

    WHY GET MAD AT PUTIN, HE SAID THAT THERE WAS NO PLACE IN RUSSIA FOR ANYONE THAT WOULD NOT FOLLOW THEIR LAW AND SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE, GO TO A COUNTRY THAT DID.

    WHY HAS HILLIARY, OBAMA, KERRY AND THE BIASED NEWS MEDIA DONE EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO HELP THE RADICAL MUSLIMS.

    WHY IS A LAW THAT WAS PASSED IN 1952 BARRING ALL MUSLIMS FROM THIS COUNTRY, NOT ENFORCED? THIS LAW INCLUDES OBAMA SINCE HE SAID HE WAS A MUSLIM, AND ALL HE HAS AROUND HIM IN DC.

    WHY DID THIS ADMINSTRATION TRY AND BUY UP ALL AMMO?

    WHY TRADE 5 TERRIOST FROM CUBA FOR ONE TRAITOR?

    WHY TRY AND TAKE OUR GUNS? HITLER DID, & HISTORY TELLS US WHAT HAPPENED THERE.

    WHY ALLOW A MINIMUM OF 35 MUSLIM CAMPS HERE IN THE STATES?

    WHY ARE THERE 5 MUSLIM CAMPS IN N. VA. CLOSE TO DC? ARE THEY TO TAKE WASHINGTON?

    WHY BUILD A FEMA CAMP IN EVERY STATE, SOME MORE THAN ONE, WITH ARMED GUARDS? ARE THEY TO HOLD MUSLIMS?

    WHY ARE THEY BRINGING THOUSANDS OF YOUNG MUSLIMS HERE?

    WHY IS THE TAX PAYER HAVING TO FEED, CLOTH & HOUSE THE HUNDREDS OF THOUSAND OF MUSLIMS BEING BROUGHT HERE?

    WHY GIVE THE THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS BROUGHT IN FREE HEALTH CARE, SPENDING THOUSANDS FOR HOSPITAL CARE?

    WHY ARE THE ILLEGALS BEING TREATED BETTER THAN OUR VETERANS.

    WHY STOP THE TANK AND PLANE SHIPPMENT TO EGYPT, WHEN THEIR ARMY KICK THE RADICALS OUT?

    WHY DID OUR GOVERNMENT SEND BILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO HELP THE RADICALS IN IRAN, A COUNTRY OUT TO DESTROY US?

    WHY ARE WE SENDING BILLIONS TO ARAB COUNTRIES, AND LETING OUR COUNTRY GO TO POT?

    WHY DONT THEY ENFORCE THE LAW BARRING ALL MUSLIMS FROM THIS COUNTRY?

    WHY IS THE MUSLIM MAJOR IN TEXAS LIVING THAT KILLED 14 SOLDIERS AND WOUNDED A LOT MORE?

    WHY ARE THEY RELEASING ALL MUSLIMS IN CUBA TO GO BACK INTO ACTION TO KILL OUR SOLDIERS?

    WHY DONT WE HANG ALL MUSLIMS CAUGHT AND BURY THEM WITH PIG PARTS, LIKE GENERAL PERSHING DID IN THE PHILLIPENS?

    WHY WAS OBAMA ALLOWED TO SWEAR IN CARLOYN WALKER AS JUDGE IN BROOKLIN USING THE QURAN?

    I SAY, ARM ALL OUR TROUPS TO PREVENT A MUSLIM TAKEOVER. THINK IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. I CAN TAKE 100 AND TAKE ANY BASE IN 1 HOUR.

    BETTER COAT ALL YOU AMMO WITH PIGS BLOOD OR GREASE, LET THE WORLD YOU ARE DOING SO.

    JUST PRAY THAT DONALD TRUMP IS ELECTED AND IS ABLE TO TAKE OVER AS OUR PRESIDENT.

    GOOGLE THE NEW CLINTON CHRONICLE 2015 AND YOU JUST MIGHT KNOW WHY.

    BELOW IS A GOOD REASON WHY I BELIEVE THAT A TAKEOVER TRY IS POSSIBLE. HOW CAN THE BIASED NEWS SAY OBAMA IS NOT A MUSLIM.

    THE LAST WHY, WHY DONT THE BIASED NEWS MEDIA REPORT ALL THIS???????????

    TRUMP IS THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS A CHANCE TO HELP. ITS EITHER HILLARY OR TRUMP. MY CHOICE IS TRUMP.

  • Mike

    Took the words out of my mouth , Clown try’s to scare my kids, running down the street with a chainsaw, I’ll put two 40s 5X and call the cops as the chainsaw spins around on the street.

  • justinwachin

    I haven’t seen any clowns, other than the politicians running for office.

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  • Marilynn Reeves

    You see one shoot the SOB and this S–t will stop.

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